Wednesday, November 30, 2005

After Thanksgiving

The tent dress.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

What To Pack for Thanksgiving

Dearest Readers,

Don't worry yourselves so about packing for the holidays. This is how we always pack: Calmly imagine a day at home (or wherever you are going) during the holidays. First, you will wake. Will you be naked, wearing a borrowed oversized tee emblazoned with a cute saying with which you cannot sympathize, or in your own cozy pajamas? Then, you will pad to the bathroom. Will you be brushing your teeth with your index finger and some found mouthwash, with a borrowed toothbrush, or with your own oscillating M-78 Oral-B tangerine colored electric toothbrush? Then, you will be trotting down the stairs for breakfast. Will you be dressed in too-tight, out-of-date clothing, a borrowed khaki pantsuit, or comfortable wool slacks topped by soft cotton shirt and navy cashmere sweater? Etcetera, etcetera.

We are going to Ohio with our man. We will probably be dressed all wrong. Some people just don't understand vinyl. More later...

Happy Thanksgiving,

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

The Collector

Not to ruin the beautiful revelations at the end of BEE SEASON (a movie now playing in theatres), but here is what we would horde, were we to take up the habit of collecting and displaying in a secret warehouse various totemic objects from our own and others' lives: furry mammals, other women's little black dresses, and impressive stereo equipment. Do you have a little black dress? What would you horde?

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

These Ten Things

If you only buy ten things this week, make it these: sleeveless coat with tie belt, navy wool Navy pants, Converse high tops, silk tee covered in someone else's name, cowl neck sweater, orange cat, a really garish lipstick to wear with a face scrubbed free of any other makeup, the prim-but-backless dress, soft nightclothes, small ruby earrings. Or, if broke, do free equivalent: make cinnamon toast and sit in bed humming harmony with favorite man.

To A Marathon

We stood the sidewalk on Lafayette in Brooklyn this past weekend watching the marathon flow by. First, very skinny Africans, then skinny Europeans and Americans, then muscular men, then tall women, then miles and miles of normal chubby people jogging their hearts out. THEN, a section of very tall, thin men again! (Please explain!) Bringing up the rear: people risking death.

We plan to run the New York City Marathon next year. And we will not be overhydrated, and we will not be wearing a pencil skirt or chandelier earrings.

Saturday, November 05, 2005

The Dog Park

Last night, at Steve McClure's birthday party in Brooklyn, a sassy English professor approached Jeepers with a quandary: what to wear to the dog park? The professor complained of an insidious fog of despair that overcomes her on mornings when she finds herself besieged by sloppily dressed dog owners insistent on drumming up inane chit chat. Was it possible, she wondered, to nudge dog-park culture higher through wardrobe alone?

Yes. Wearing this dress (or any other floor-length gown with bustle) while also forcing other dog owners into deeper discussion (i.e. "How can we work together to bring about world peace within the next four months?" Or, "Tell me about your marriage and why you think it is failing?") can change both the professor's neighborhodd and our world.

Gentle Readers, let us start now: Be more strange. Dive off the slow barge of weather assessment and dog breed comparisons into deeper waters. Ask strangers startling questions, wear a fake nose to the grocery, do not go gentle into that good night wearing appropriate clothing. We must stop being so boring.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

My Best Guess

How is lace made? What does the inner ear look like? Anyhoo, here are some of our guesses, sans any cheating (research). After we drew this, our friend pointed out that bees have wings. Yes, they do! But since we hadn't thought of it on our own, no wings are depicted.

Something we have more confidence in: a new movie called Bee Season is going to rock our world. One friend, who attended a preview in the Hamptons, suggested that it was emotionally thrilling, gorgeously shot, and the best, most electric performance from Richard Gere since American Gigolo. It opens in selected cities November 11. More later...