Choosing Gifts

"Now why would a child want 420 squirrels?"

We strongly advocate a presents-free Christmas celebration. It must be announced early, so nobody expects gifts, but once the plan is in place, watch your joy and anticipation grow! Instead of the usual pajama'd sloth around a pile of papered boxes and nervous expectation, plan an outing. Skiing, for instance, or winter bird watching. Sing carols and gather around a steaming caldron of hot, spiced wine. Make prank calls to relatives: "Hello, Aunt Ann? This is Oprah Winfrey."

If you must give gifts, consider these suggestions:

1. A fabric-covered journal that you have partially filled in with writing prompts like "Today might have been the most glorious day of my life," and "If I were the mayor of New York City..."

2. A pint of heavy cream, a ball of wool yarn, and an orange kitten together in a box

3. A first aid kit packed with cherry Halls coughdrops, cloth handkerchiefs, foot cream, the complete first season of All Creatures Great and Small, seran wrap for sucking chest wounds, and neosporin

4. A subscription to a very obscure magazine.

5. Invisible ink

6. A beautiful belt (people rarely get belts as gifts)

7. A good guide to how to quit smoking and a box of fancy black licorice

8. A giant loaf of gingerbread

9. Doctored photographs

10. Loose diamonds

Happy holidays!
J