Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Flat Chested and Fabulous

Dear Jeepers,

I have a small problem--really.  Why is it so hard for me to find clothes that balance out my pear shaped body?  I don't have a large booty, but in comparison with my small bust, I look bottom heavy.  How do I help disguise this--without breast augmentation?

Signed,
 A Cup


Dear A Cup,

Show us a woman who can do a double back pike dismount off the balance beam, and we'll show you a woman with small breasts. Ballerninas are not stacked. Audrey Hepburn was not built like a brick house. So, you begin to see that you are in good company. Plus, everybody's just about had it with cleavage, after nearly two decades of overexposure.

Pear shapes have nothing to do with breast size anyhow; the shape is caused instead by narrow shoulders paired with wide hips (so cute, really!). When deciding what to wear, look to emphasize your sleek top: Think military, dancer, schoolgirl.

As a C-cup (sometimes D-cup), we envy you your figure. If we had a dime for every time we couldn't get a man to look us in the eye, every time a toddler lept hopefully into our arms, every time the dew glistened on our voluptuous mounds of flesh, distracting emergency services workers, we'd be rich.

Yrs,
Jeepers

6 Comments:

Blogger chris said...

I love your site!

2:18 PM  
Blogger Siobhan said...

i agree with what you said =]
you have a pretty little neat site

2:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am also an A cup pear shaped person. Yes Audrey Hepburn and many ballerinas look great, but they had/have long necks and slender hips. I remember seeing Nastaja Kinski walking naked in "Cat People" and wondering why she looked good with small breasts, when I look odd", and figured it out, its her wide shoulders.

So what do we truly pear shaped ladies do? I find empire (high) waists work well. So do square necklines, straps that sit wide on the shoulders. Horizontal stripes on top, but make sure they stop a few inches below the bust, not all the way to the waist. Anything that makes the top half seem wide, and the bottom half seem long and narrow.

8:18 PM  
Blogger WC said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

5:09 AM  
Anonymous WC said...

im EXACTLY like that to the point that i have given up wearing a bra (im that flat chested) yet im quite shapely on the bottom! i've found that jackets with really defined shoulders, lots and lots of vest, and more jackets are really good!

5:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jane Birkin was a small-busted and fabulous - and a pear :)

5:27 AM  

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